우공's story/english study2010. 1. 7. 19:51

[article]Lee Wants Turning Point in S-N Ties(koreatimes,100105)

Lee Wants Turning Point in S-N Ties


President Lee Myung-bak
By Na Jeong-ju
Staff Reporter

President Lee Myung-bak pledged Monday to step up efforts to make abreakthrough in stalled inter-Korean relations, saying the two Koreasshould establish dialogue channels first.

이명박 대통령은 수렁에 빠진 남북관계의 돌파구를 마련하기 위한 노력을 촉진시키기 위하여 남북은 첫번째로 대화 채널을 수립해야 한다고 발표했다.

In his New Year's address, Lee also urged North Korea to return to thesix-party talks aimed at dismantling its nuclear program, saying heexpects Pyongyang to take a path of cooperation and dialogue this year.

그의 신년 연설에서 대통령은 또한 북한은 북한의 핵프로그램 해체를 위한 6자 회담에 복귀해야 하며 그는 올해에는 북한이 협력과 대화의 길을 선택할 것으로 예상한다고 말했다.

``We should create a turning point for relations with North Korea,''Lee said in the nationally televised speech. ``The North should rejoin the six-party denuclearization talks first to revive inter-Korean economic cooperation. Most of all, the two Koreas should set up dialogue channels.''

이대통령은 TV연설에서 우리는 남북관계의 전환점을 만들 것이라고 말했다. 북한은 남북간 경제 협력의 회복을 위해서는 우선 비핵화를 위한 6자회담에 복귀해야 한다. 무엇보다도 양국은 대화 채널을 구축해야 한다고 말했다.

Lee also said Seoul is willing to start a joint project with Pyongyangto excavate the remains of South Korean soldiers who perished during the 1950-53 Korean War.

이대통령은 또한 남한은 1950~53 한국 전쟁 동안 사망한 남측 국군의 유해 발굴을 북한측과 시작하기를 희망한다고 전했다.

The suggestions came amid expectations that the two Koreas may push for a third summit this year.

위 제안은 올해 남북 3차 정상회담의 추진이 예상되는 가운데 나왔다. 

In its own New Year's message, North Korea stressed the need for warmer ties with South Korea, saying that this year marks the 10th anniversaryof the first inter-Korean summit held in Pyongyang.

신년 연설에서 북한은 남한과의 우호관계의 필요성을 강조하면서, 올해는 평양에서 1차 정상회담이 열린지  10주년을 기념한다고 말했다.

``Unshakable is our stand that we will improve the relations with theSouth and open the way for national reunification,'' the North'sstate-owned newspapers said in a joint editorial issued Jan. 1. TheChosun Sinbo, a pro-Pyongyang newspaper in Japan, also reported thatthe editorial portends a ``dramatic event'' this year, adding speculation over a much-anticipated summit.
통일을 위하여 개방을 하고 남한과의 관계를 개선하고자 하는 북한의 입장은 불변하다고 북한은 1월1일자 신문에서 밝혔다. 일본의 조선신보는 또한  올해는 드라마틱 사건의 전조가 될 것이며 게다가 주목받고 있는 정상회담에 대해 숙고하고 있다고 사설에서 전했다.

The two Koreas have held two summits: the first in 2000 during thead ministration of President Kim Dae-jung, and the second in 2007 underPresident Roh Moo-hyun. Both summits were held in Pyongyang ― the NorthKorean leader Kim Jong-il has yet to pay a promised reciprocal visit tothe South.

남북은 두번의 정상회담을 열었다. 첫번째는 김대중 대통령의 재임기간인 2000년이였으며 두번째는 노무현 대통령 재임기간인 2007년이다. 두 정상회담은 모두 평양에서 열렸으며 북한 통치자인 김정일은 남측을 상호 방문하겠다는 약속을 지키지 못했다.


Lee recently said he is ready to meet the North Korean leader ``anytimeand anywhere'' to resolve the protracted nuclear standoff.

이대통령은 최근 그는 지속되고 있는 핵 교착 상태를 해결하기 위하여 언제 어디서든 김정일 위원장을 만날 준비가 되어 있다고 말했다.

In the address, Lee also said he would focus on strengthening diplomatic relations with countries all over the world, particularly Asian and African countries, taking advantage of Korea's hosting of theG20 Summit, slated for November in Seoul.

연설에서 이대통령은 또한 11월 서울에서 열릴 G20 정상회의의 주최국으로서 이점을 취하고자 전세계 국가들, 특히 아시아와 아프리카 국가들과 국교 강화에 중점을 둘것이라고 말했다.

To become a more responsible member of the international community, the government is seeking to raise overseas development assistance to poor countries and increase its participation in the U.N.'s peace-keeping missions in conflict areas, he said.

국제사회에서 보다 책임있는 구성원이 되기 위하여 정부는 빈국을 위한 해외 개발 원조를 늘리고 분쟁지역에서 유엔의 평화 유지 활동에 참여를 증가시키기 위한 노력를 할 것이라고 이대통령은 말했다.

The global outreach initiative is one of three policy goals Lee suggested Monday for the administration to press ahead with throughout this year.

이대통령은 기자회견에서 올한해 국제 구제활동 솔선이 3가지 정책 목표 중 하나라고 주장했다.

The other two are reform programs to increase economic vitality and policies to improve the lives of ordinary people.

다른 두가지는 경제 활력을 증가시키기 위한 계획 재편과 서민들의 삶을 개선하는 정책이다.

``The government's top national policy agenda in 2010 is to revive the economy and at the core of this is creating jobs,'' said theCEO-turned-President.

2010년 정부의 최고 국가 정책 의제는 경제 회복이며 그 핵심은 일자리 창출이라고 CEO 대통령은 말했다.

Lee said the administration will make all-out efforts to end emergency economic measures within the first half of this year and make low-income people feel the effects of economic recovery in the latterhalf.

이대통령은 정부는 올해 상반기 안에 긴급 경제 대책을 끝내기 위한 최고의 노력을 다할 것이며 하반기에는 저소득측이 경제회복 효과를 느낄수 있도록 만들겠다고 말했다.

jj@koreatimes.co.kr

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2010. 1. 4. 16:44

[article]Heavy Snow Alert Issued in Metropolitan Seoul(KOREA TIMES,100104)

Heavy Snow Alert Issued in Metropolitan Seoul


Motor vehicles, bumper to bumper in Itaewon, downtown Seoul, move at a snail’s pace Monday as nearly 20 centimeters of snow fell on Seoul and its surrounding areas. / Korea Times

Heavy snowfall hit Seoul and other parts of central South Korea Monday, triggering traffic chaos and forcing airlines to cancel all domestic flights and delay some international flights on the first work day of the New Year.

새해 첫 업무일인 월요일 서울과 한국 중남부를 폭설이 강타하자,교통 혼란이 유발되고 지역 항공 운항이 취소되며 일부 국제 항공은 지연되었다.


According to city officials and weathermen, nearly 20 centimeters of snow had accumulated in Seoul as of 9:00 a.m., the Korea Meteorological Administration (KMA) said, issuing a heavy snow alert for the capital city, Incheon and surrounding areas, according to Yonhap News Agency.

연합뉴스는 시 공무원과 기상대 직원에 따르면 오전 9시 현재 서울에는 거의 20센치미터의 눈이 쌓였으며 기상청은 폭설 경보를 서울과 인천 및 그 주변 도시에 내렸다고 전한다.

The unusually heavy snow disrupted traffic on Seoul's major roads and highways, forcing citizens on their first work day to flock to subways, buses and other public transportation.

서울의 주요 도시와 고속도로는 유별날 폭설로 교통 혼란을 빚었으며, 첫 출근길 시민들을 지하철, 버스 및 기타 대중 교통으로 몰리게했다.

Some ministers were late for the first cabinet meeting presided over by President Lee Myung-bak at Cheong Wa Dae due to the traffic congestion caused by heavy snowfall.

일부 장관들은 이명박 대통령이 청와대에서 주재하는 첫 내각회의에 폭설로 인한 교통혼잡으로 지각을 했다.

Officials said Seoul's urban highways and riverside expressways already turned into a huge parking lot due to the heavy traffic congestion.

공무원은 서울의 도시 고속도로와 강변 고속도로는 이미 폭설에 따른 교통 혼잡으로 큰 주차장으로 변했다고 말했다.

The municipal authorities closed all mountain roads leading to the downtown area and controlled traffic on hilly roads.

자치시는 도심으로 인도하는 모든 산악 도로를 폐쇄하고 산길의 교통을 통제했다.

 
Airlines were forced to cancel all domestic flights out of Gimpo Airport on the western outskirts of Seoul, while severe international flight delays were reported at Incheon International Airport, further west of the capital.

서울 서부에 위치한 김포공항에서 출발하는 지역 운항은 취소되었으며, 수도에서 보다 서쪽에 위치한 인천 국제공항에서는 몇개의 국제 운항이 연기되었다고 보고됐다. 

"Snowfall began at 5 a.m. in Seoul and as much as 7.5 centimeters was recorded in just two hours. Snow is expected to stop falling Monday evening," said an official at the KMA.
기상청 관계자에 따르면 폭설은 오전 5시부터 시작되었으며 2시간만에 7.5cm를 기록했다. 눈은 월요일 저녁에야 멈출것으로 예상된다.

"With the temperature plunging to minus 6.9 degrees early Monday morning, most roads in Seoul and neighboring areas are expected to become icy," the official said, asking motorists to exert special caution.
The Seoul Metropolitan Government said it has mobilized about 3,500 civil servants and 1,200 vehicles to spray snow-melting calcium chloride on all major roads and highways.

월요일 아침 일찍 기온은 영하 6.9로 떨어졌으며 서울과 주변 대부분의 도로는 결빙이 예상된다고 관계자는 전했으며 자가용 운전자는 운전에 주의를 요청했다.

서울시는 모든 주요도로와 고속도로에 제설제인 염화칼슘을 살포하기 위하여 3,500명의 시공무원과 1,200대의 차량을 동원했다고 한다.

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2010/01/117_58389.html

sahds@koreatimes.co.kr

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2009. 12. 11. 09:41

[KOREA TIMES]Korea Struggles to Cut Reliance on Export

Korea Struggles to Cut Reliance on Export

By Yoon Ja-young
Staff Reporter

The government is seeking ways to strengthen the country's domestic market, as the export-oriented economy has made the country vulnerable to outside shocks.

The Ministry of Strategy and Finance has said the services sector will be developed but many economists say there is no magic short-term solution to expand the domestic market and reduce the overreliance on exports.

The ministry said Korea will have to shift its focus from export-oriented mass manufacturing to the domestic market, while enhancing productivity.

It cited falling dynamism, high dependency on overseas market and income polarization as challenges the economy will face next year.

According to the Bank of Korea (BOK), exports accounted for 55 percent of the nation's gross national income (GNI) in 2008, up 11.2 percentage points from the previous year, and well above Britain's 26.3 percent, Japan's 22 percent and the U.S.' 18.5 percent.

In a report to President Lee Myung-bak on next year's economic management plan, Finance and Economy Minister Yoon Jeung-hyun predicted a paradigm shift in the global economy and industrial structure, triggered by the global financial crisis.

He sees little possibility of robust growth in the global economy amid many uncertainties.

Yoon predicted 5 percent economic growth next year, with consumption growing over 4 percent and facility investment by around 11 percent.

Some 200,000 jobs will be created and the current account will mark a $15 billion surplus, while inflation should remain stable at 3 percent, he said.

President Lee will regularly chair a national employment strategy meeting next year as the government's focus is creating more jobs through growth.

Lee said that the expansionary fiscal policy should continue next year though the economic outlook has turned increasingly positive.

"There are still a lot of uncertainties in the global economy," the President said in a meeting with policymakers and economists at Cheong Wa Dae, Thursday.

The government plans to continue its expansionary policy, but will gradually slow it down in keeping with economic trend and job market conditions. Financial policy will also be in expansionary mood for the time being.

Another focus of economic policy next year will be stabilizing the livelihood of the working class.

Considering that college tuition is a big burden on the household economy, loans for students will be expanded.

The government will continue its drive to secure more growth engines. To try and increase the birthrate, households will be given incentives to have more children, such as support for the medical expenses of pregnant mothers.

The authorities are also considering bringing the elementary school entry age forward by one year, to lessen the burden of nursery school fees.

They are also considering attracting more talented foreigners to Korea.

chizpizza@koreatimes.co.kr

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2009. 12. 7. 19:39

[article]Korea’s Social Security Cost Grows Fastest in OECD(12.7.KOREA TIMES)

Korea’s Social Security Cost Grows Fastest in OECD



By Lee Hyo-sik
Staff Reporter

Households' pension contributions and other social security-related payments in Korea are increasing at the fastest pace among the 30 OECD member economies.

The soaring costs are putting a heavier financial burden on families here and diminishing their ability to spend on various goods and services.

According to an OECD report Monday, Korea's ratio of pension and other welfare-related spending on total taxation surged to 20.8 percent in 2007 from 7 percent in 1995. This 13.8-percentage point increase was considerably higher than the average OECD gain of 0.5-percent over the 13-year period.

Statistics Korea also said domestic households paid an average of 170,000 won per month from July to September for state pension, health, employment insurance and other social security-related coverage, up 38 percent from 123,000 won in the third quarter of 2004.

These expenditures are expected to continue to head upward in the future, with Korean working families having to pay more to financially support a growing number of senior citizens and boost the rapidly falling birthrate.

In a report to the National Assembly, the Ministry of Strategy and Finance said the ratio of pension and other welfare-related contributions to gross domestic product (GDP) will reach 6 percent this year. It will continue to rise to 6.3 percent in 2010, 6.7 percent in 2011, 7 percent in 2012 and 7.3 percent in 2013.

A ministry official said national pension, health insurance and other social security related-expenses will likely go up at a faster clip in the future, due to the worsening financial soundness of the state-funded welfare schemes. ``Additionally, the rapidly aging population and low birthrates are forcing working families to shoulder greater financial burdens to support the elderly and newborns. It will negatively affect households' ability to spend, further dampening the prolonged sluggish domestic demand.''

Salaried workers and the self-employed making over 3.6 million won per month will likely pay more to their state-run pension program from next April, with the government moving to apply higher rates to high-income earners.

The national employment insurance is also expected to charge higher rates to contributors as its financial soundness has deteriorated, due to the record of number of laid-off workers claiming unemployment benefits this year in the aftermath of the global economic downturn.

Salaried employees and the self-employed will pay a greater portion of their income for the state-run health insurance as its premiums will be hiked 4.9 percent in January next year.

Truckers, construction workers and other physical labor providers will be required to pay greater premiums, up as much as 10 percent in 2010 to benefit from insurance that covers workplace accidents.

leehs@koreatimes.co.kr

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2009. 11. 12. 13:23

비지니스 레터 기본 표현

The Start

Dear Personnel Director,

Dear Sir or Madam: (메일을 받는 상대를)

Dear Dr, Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms Smith: (상대를 이미 알고 있을 경우에 사용하고 formal한 관계일 경우.  VERY IMPORTANT 메일을 받는 사람이 여성이고 Mrs인지 Miss인지 모를 경우엔 Ms를 사용합니다.)

Dear Frank: (가까운 비지니스 파트너이거나 친구일 경우)

The Reference

With reference to your advertisement in the Times, ~your letter of 23 rd March,
~your phone call today,
Thank you for your letter of March 5 th .

The Reason for Writing

I am writing to inquire about
apologize for
confirm

inquire: If you inquire about something, you ask for information about it. - 묻다, 요청하다

Requesting

Could you possibly?
I would be grateful if you could

Agreeing to Requests

I would be delighted to

delighted: If you are delighted, you are extremely pleased and excited about something. - 몹시 기쁜, 즐거워하는

Giving Bad News

Unfortunately
I am afraid that

Enclosing Documents

I am enclosing ~
Please find enclosed ~ 
Enclosed you will find ~

enclose: If you enclose something with a letter, you put it in the same envelope as the letter. - (파일등을) 동봉하다, 첨부하다

Closing Remarks

Thank you for your help. Please contact us again if we can help in any way.
~there are any problems.
~you have any questions.

Reference to Future Contact

I look forward to ...
~hearing from you soon.
~meeting you next Tuesday.
~seeing you next Thursday.

The Finish

Yours faithfully,
Yours sincerely,
Best wishes,
Best regards, (위 표현보다는 좀더 친근한 사이일 경우 사용합니다.)

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2009. 5. 18. 10:54

[article]LG Aims to Save $320 Mil. From Better Supply Chains[KOREATIMES]


LG Aims to Save $320 Mil. From Better Supply Chains


Didier Chenneveau
By Kim Yoo-chul
Staff Reporter

LG Electronics aims to save $320 million next year from better supply chain management systems.

``Our inventory is arranged to last 40 days, down from 50 days thanks to more accurate sales forecasts and on-time deliveries,'' said Didier Chenneveau, LG Electronics chief supply chain officer.

``Open bidding systems targeting global logistics companies and the efforts to cut costs in shipments have paid off,'' he said.

According to its public relations office, the world's No. 3 producer of mobile phones has saved some $85 million on a smoother supply chain in the first quarter year-on-year.

LG's supply structure management comes at a time when vulnerability to supply chain hiccups is a key factor negatively affecting the bottom lines of Korean firms that are becoming bigger with more sophisticated products.

Thus, how to minimize risks in their supply chains is everybody's concern, according to experts, with tasks coming down to handling wide-ranging issues from assessing the right sizes of inventory to fraud.

For LG, its supply line management carries added importance because it has been expanding its global presence in mobile phones and flat-screen TVs. Its relatively weaker supply chain management has been posing the biggest threat and is a chronic headache in saving costs on overseas markets.

``By steadily investing in supply chain management systems for strengthened optimization, LG plans to reach the world's top level in supply chains by 2011,'' the executive vice president said.

He declined to comment when asked about the amount LG is planning to invest to improve the systems.

Chenneveau had previously hinted at forming a joint venture with other companies to set up a ``supply chain management belt,'' though no official decision has been made.

``Still, we are in the process of optimizing and sharpening our supply chain management systems. More time will be needed for a joint venture,'' the company spokesman added.

As for its risk management strategy, LG created a team in March composed of 15 experts to work on its 80 overseas affiliates.

Its CEO Nam Yong has been consistently asking key staff members to gain an understanding of risks to make a better supply chain by emphasizing the mapping of key supplier dependencies as the first step in taking control.

Chenneveau, who spent over 15 years at U.S.-based Hewlett-Packard, joined LG in 2008 as part of Nam's globalization efforts.

yckim@koreatimes.co.kr

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2009. 2. 3. 13:29

[article]Obama Vows Strong Support for 6-Way Talks(koreatimes.090203)

Obama Vows Strong Support for 6-Way Talks


U.S. President Barack Obama
U.S. President Barack Obama said Tuesday his country will increase support for six-nation talks on ending North Korea's nuclear program, saying recent developments suggest the multilateral talks are the only way to denuclearize the communist nation, a spokesman for the South Korean presidential office was quoted as saying by Yonhap News.

Obama made the remarks during a telephone conversation with his South Korean counterpart Lee Myung-bak.

"Regarding the North Korean nuclear issue, President Obama said it is important for the countries to increase their cooperation in the six-party talks," spokesman Lee Dong-kwan was quoted as telling a press briefing.

The U.S. President was quoted as saying he has learned the denuclearization of the Korean Peninsula can be realized at an earlier date through close cooperation within the six-way talks, "considering the recent series of developments."


President Lee Myung-bak
Obama did not elaborate, but the remarks came amid reports that Pyongyang may be preparing to test-launch a long-range missile.

Though North Korea has a self-imposed moratorium on tests of long- and intermediate-range missiles, it test-fired a Taepodong-2 missile in July 2006, three months before it conducted its first-ever nuclear detonation.

The Taepodong missile is believed to have a payload of 500 kilograms, which theoretically is enough to carry a small nuclear warhead, and also have a maximum range of 6,000 kilometers, which would include Alaska and western parts of the U.S. in its range.

Lee thanked Obama for expressing such a firm stance on the North Korean nuclear issue and how to resolve it, his spokesman said.

Tuesday's telephone call was the first official dialogue between Lee and Obama since the latter was inaugurated Jan. 20.

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2008. 12. 18. 09:53

[article] Era of Three Lows Revisits Korea (KoreaTimes.12.17)


Era of Three Lows Revisits Korea



Low Interest Rates, Low Oil Prices, Low Won's Value

By Kim Tae-gyu
Staff Reporter

After decades of fast growth, Korea chalked up a much-hyped current account surplus in 1986 for the first time thanks in large part to a favorable situation called ``the three lows'' ― low interest rates, low oil prices and a depreciated won against the dollar.

Things are almost identical at the moment since all of the three blessings are back ― crude oil prices have plunged of late; the won is weak against the greenback; and the benchmark interest rate is at a record low.

On the surface, a three-lows era seems to be revisiting Korea, so the question is whether the period will benefit the nation as it did 20 years ago. The answer appears to be negative.

``In the late 1980s, both the local and international markets were good. Under a fully functioning economy, Korea was able to make the utmost of the three lows to leap forward,'' said Kim Young-il, an economist at the Korea Development Institute.

``Today, it is different. Of course, the three lows are good for our economy. However, they will not catapult the country sky high. They will just attenuate the difficulties to some extent,'' Lee said.

Lee Geun-tae, a senior researcher at the LG Economic Research Institute, concurs.

``Plunging oil prices and interest rates are systematic responses to an economic downturn, which takes place automatically over the economic slump to prevent a further downward spiral,'' Lee said.

``Look at the United States where the benchmark rate is zero. Oil prices are low and the dollar starts to depreciate. Then, should the U.S. be a beneficiary of the three lows?'' he asked.

Growth Potential

On the other hand, some observers see the bright spots of the three lows.

``The three lows will not work in the same way as they did in the late 1980s. The influence of the favorable factors will be limited under the lingering financial distress,'' said Lee Sun-yup, an analyst at Goodmorning Shinhan Securities.

``However, they will speed up the pace of recovery down the road when things get back on track. In that sense, they are elements that will do good to our economy later on rather than right away,'' he said.

His logic is that the three lows will not weed out financial difficulties on their own but they will combine forces to power the Korean economy into recovering at higher pace than is generally expected.

The Bank of Korea has slashed the benchmark interest rate by 2.25 percentage points over the past two months to a record low of 3 percent.

The central bank said it slashed the interest rates so drastically because inflationary pressure has subsided with the consumer price index stabilizing.

The value of the local currency has also headed down throughout this year. Although the won has appreciated a little bit this month, its value is still substantially low in comparison to last year.

The won closed at 936.1 won per dollar last year and suffered a free fall to a yearly low of 1,525 won last month. It rose of late to move between 1,300 won and 1,400 won.

This is good news for the export-oriented Korean economy where trade accounts for about two-thirds of the gross domestic product (GDP). The high won-dollar rate cuts prices of dollar-denominated products of Korean firms, thus attracting more purchases.

Crude oil prices soared to approach $140 a barrel this summer but plummeted to below $50 this month, once again good news for Korea which does not produce a drop of oil.

voc200@koreatimes.co.kr

Posted by mattins
우공's story/english study2008. 12. 16. 16:09

[friends]ep.504.The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS


[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]

Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.

(Rachel enters.)

Rachel: Hi! I just wanna-(sees Monica)-Ahhh!!! Oh my God! (She runs out in horror.) Oh my God!

Monica: (pulling on a robe) Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-I was um, I was taking a nap.

Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!

Monica: Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. (Thinks) I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!

Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?

Monica: Uh-huh, that one!

Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)

Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm… (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.

Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?

Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!

Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!

Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!

Monica: But why?! Did he get in touch with Emily?

Joey: Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.

Ross: (on phone) I-I-I don't care if I said some other girl's name you prissy, old twit!

Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.

Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]

Joey: (entering, wearing a tux) Hey!

Chandler: Oh no-no-no-no-no-no, vomit tux! No-no, vomit tux!

Joey: Don't worry, I had it dry-cleaned.

Monica: Vomit tux? Who vomited on—y'know what, what you up to Joe?

Joey: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!

Monica: Oh that's great!

Joey: A little uh, good deed for PBS and a little TV exposure, now that's the kind of math Joey likes to do!

Phoebe: Ugh, PBS!

Monica: What's wrong with PBS?

Phoebe: Ugh, what's right with them?

Joey: Why don’t you like PBS, Pheebs?

Phoebe: Okay, 'cause right after my mom killed herself, I was just in this really bad place, y'know personally. So, I just thought that it'd make me feel better if I wrote to Sesame Street, 'cause they were so nice when I was a little kid! No one ever wrote back.

Chandler: Well y'know a lot of those Muppets don't have thumbs.

Phoebe: All I got was a lousy key chain! And by that time I was living in a box. I didn't have keys!

Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.

Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.

Joey: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What about you, having those babies for your brother? Talk about selfish!

Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!

Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?

Phoebe: Yeah. So?

Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.

Phoebe: Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless.

Joey: Well, may I ask for one example?

Phoebe: Yeah, it's… Y'know there's—no you may not!

(They are standing on either side of Chandler as they discuss the point. Chandler, meanwhile, is disgusted with the whole argument.)

Joey: That's because all people are selfish.

Phoebe: Are you calling me selfish?!

Joey: Are you calling you people? (Chandler rolls his eyes.) Yeah, well sorry to burst that bubble, Pheebs, but selfless good deeds don't exist. Okay? And you the deal on Santa Clause right?

Phoebe: I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.

(Ross's phone rings and he answers it.)

Ross: (on phone) Hello.

Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?

Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!

Emily: Ross, I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Good-bye!

Ross: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!

Emily: Really? About what?

Ross: Look you're my wife. We're-we're married. Y'know? I-I love you. I-I really miss you.

Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.

Ross: (to the gang, whispering) She's talking.

All: (subdued) Yay! (He motions for them to keep quiet, including Chandler who is still holding the lamp Ross handed him, before he goes off to talk to Emily in private.)

Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?

Joey: That he doesn't exist.

Phoebe: Right. (She turns and opens her eyes in shock.)

[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]

Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?

Chandler: Uhh, yeah. She uh, she uh, she uh might've mentioned him.

Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?

Monica: Ohh, he's really shy. I-I don’t think he's up to meeting everyone yet.

Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.

Rachel: I don’t care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!

(Chandler is quite pleased with that statement.)

Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?

Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?

Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!

Ross: (entering) Hi!

Monica: Hey!

Ross: Well, Emily's willing to work on the relationship.

Chandler: Yes!

Monica: That's great!

Ross: In London!

Monica: What?!

Ross: She wants me to move to London.

Monica: But you live here! (Ross rolls his eyes.) You know that.

Rachel: What-what-what are you gonna do?

Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.

Monica: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife.

Ross: It could happen.

[Scene: Unitel Video, Studio 55, Joey's telethon, he is being shown around by the stage director.]

Joey: (To the pledge volunteers) How ya doin'? Welcome. Good to see ya!

Stage Director: This will be your phone.

Joey: That's great. But uh, I'm not really expecting a lot of calls.

Stage Director: No you answer it and take pledges.

Joey: But I'm the host!

Stage Director: No, Gary Collins is the host. You'll be answering the phones.

Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.

Stage Director: Well, here's your phone doctor. (She walks away.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]

Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!

Rachel: Maybe Joey's right. Maybe all good deeds are selfish.

Phoebe: I will find a selfless good deed! 'Cause I just gave birth to three children and I will not let them be raised in a world where Joey is right!

Chandler: (entering) Hey, Monica? Can I ask you a cooking question?

Monica: Sure!

Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?

Rachel: Chandler! (Pause) Is he?

Monica: Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend.

Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)

[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's on the phone with Emily.]

Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.

Emily: I understand that would be difficult.

Ross: Yeah, would you please consider moving here? I mean you were gonna move here anyway, why can't you just do that?

Emily: I don't know, it's just…

Ross: Oh-oh-okay, but-but I know, that even though I've been a-a complete idiot up 'til now, I mean, I mean you-you-you have to come here. You have to come here so we can work this out.

Emily: All right.

Ross: All right, did you just say all right?

Emily: I did. Now I'm the idiot.

Ross: Oh, Emily that is, that is so great. It's gonna be so great! We're gonna be like-like-like two idiots in love!

(She laughs.)

Emily: Ross, there's one thing that really scares me still.

Ross: Yes, tell me.

Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.

Ross: I know. I am, I am so sorry.

Emily: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.

Ross: Again, very sorry.

Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!

Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.

Emily: All right. I'll come to New York and we'll try and make this work.

Ross: Oh that is so great! That's…

Emily: (interrupting him) As long as you don't see Rachel anymore.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]

Ross: So I asked Emily if she would come to New York, and she said yes.

Chandler: Yes!

Phoebe: Ooh-ohh!

Monica: Great!

Ross: No-no-no! Only if I promise never to see Rachel again.

Phoebe: Why?

Monica: What?! You can't—what did you tell her?

Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!

Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.

Monica: Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.

Phoebe: Yeah.

Chandler: That's true!

Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.

Chandler: That's true!

Monica: No, you cannot.

Ross: Thanks for the help, problem solved. (Wipes his hands.)

(The phone rings.)

Monica: (answering it) Hello.

Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!

Monica: Oh hey Joey! We've been watching all day, when are you gonna be on TV?

Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.

Monica: (Looking at the TV) You're not on TV.

Joey: Oh, uh, okay, how, how about now? (He waves his hand in front of the woman next to him and you can now see his arm on TV.)

Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!

Joey: Hello New York! (The woman bats his hand out of the way.)

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the chick and the duck are watching Emeril Live, a cooking show.]

Emeril: (on TV.) Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs…

(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)

Chandler: How many times have I told you guys, you never watch the cooking channel!

Monica: (entering) Hi Chandler.

Chandler: Hey!

Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.

Chandler: Oh that was yours? Uh, yeah, we used it when the duck was throwing up caterpillars.

Monica: William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27.

Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.

Monica: Yeah, so?

Chandler: Well I just, thought maybe you'd wanna book some time with the best you'd ever had.

Monica: Y'know what, champ? I think I'll pass.

Chandler: Why?

Monica: Why? (She hops into the living room and imitates Chandler's happy dance.)

Chandler: What's your point?

[Scene: The Telethon, Joey's phone rings and he answers it.]

Joey: (in a bored voice) PBS telethon.

Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.

Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?

Phoebe: Well, it helps the bee look tough in front of his bee friends. The bee is happy and I am definitely not.

Joey: Now, y'know the bee probably died after he stung ya.

Phoebe: (Thinks for a moment.) Aw, dammit! (Slams the phone down.)

Stage Director: Back on in 30 seconds people!

(Joey gets up and moves to the other end of his row to talk to the guy sitting there.)

Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?

PBS Volunteer: Hey, no way, I'm in the shot man.

Joey: Come on man! You've been here all day!

PBS Volunteer: Yeah, I-I'm taking pledges here, eh?

Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)

Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to… (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe are cooking, Chandler is reading a magazine.]

Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a…)

Monica: A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!

Phoebe: Ooh, it's not a toy.

Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!

Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.

[Scene: The Telethon, Joey answers his ringing phone.]

Joey: (in an unenthusiastic voice) PBS Telethon.

Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.

Joey: Hey Pheebs!

Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.

Joey: $200? Are you sure Pheebs? I mean, after what Sesame Street did to ya?

Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.

Joey: And you don't a little good about donating the money?

Phoebe: No, it sucks. I was saving up to buy a hamster.

Joey: A hamster? What, those things are like 10 bucks.

Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.

Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers…(He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!

Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feel—Oh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]

Chandler: (entering) Look, maybe I got carried away before. But there's something you gotta know. If I'm the best, it's only because you've made me the best.

Monica: Keep talking.

Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH…MY…GOD.

Monica: Really?

Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!

Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my… When is Joey gonna be home?

Chandler: Well, I was kinda hoping we could do this without him. (She starts to take off her latex gloves.) Oh no-no-no, leave the gloves on.

Monica: But, I just cleaned the bathroom.

Chandler: Yeah, why don't we lose the gloves.

Monica: Yeah. (She takes them off.)

(He carries her over to the door and opens it.)

Chandler: All right, let's show them how it's done.

Monica: Okay.

(He starts to carry her into the hallway but hits her head on the door.)

Monica: Ow!

Chandler: Y'know that wasn't part of it?

Monica: I know!

(He carries her into the hall.)

[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is prying at the Magic 8 Ball with a screwdriver as there's a knock on his door which he goes to answer.]

Rachel: (entering) Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!

Ross: For what?

Rachel: For Stella! Remember? She's gettin' her grove back in like 20 minutes.

Ross: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.

Rachel: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!

Ross: It's not that easy, there's still a lot of relationship stuff.

Rachel: Like what?

Ross: Just stuff. Y'know kinda what Emily wants.

Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.

Ross: No. No. You-you can't help. I mean, I kinda have to do this without your help.

Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to… Hi!

Ross: Thanks.

Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!

Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)

Ending Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, ??????? is playing, as Chandler peaks his head out of the storage closet and sneaks back to his seat and pretends he's reading something. Then a short while later Monica pokes her head out of the closet and sneaks back to her seat and sits down, pretending as if nothing has happened.]

Monica: Never done that before.

Chandler: Nope.

End

Posted by mattins

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